Healing and transformational work are not the same thing.
Transformational work can be healing. Healing can be transformational. But the door through which you enter matters.
Why?
Because if you are looking for healing and you end up in a more “transformational” setting, it can hurt. It can feel abrasive, misattuned, or get you hooked on the escape of “state change” without doing anything for the underlying wound, causing the same patterns in different forms.
Read MoreOur society loves to talk about toxic masculinity, toxic positivity, toxic relationships, toxic food, and even toxic environments. These are all terms I’ve personally heard being tossed around with abandon, and I’m sure there are even more out there.
Now, this is a good thing in a way – this shows we are driving towards a more inclusive, empowered society that stands up for ourselves and for each other.
But what I don’t love about this is that it often comes with a lot of shame and blame attached.
Read MoreTension can build up in our systems, ultimately causing deeper emotional drainage, physical strain, loss of libido, and other issues if left unmanaged over time. Therefore, understanding how and why tension shows up is essential to enabling better emotional regulation, management, and release.
Read MoreI heard once that for every negative or stressful thought that we experience, chemicals related to that emotion are released into our system, and they remain there for a certain amount of time – generally eight to twelve seconds.
This perpetuates unhealthy mental states – including anxiety and depression – because our body is continuing to express those chemicals while we ruminate (get stuck on a thought) on the negative experience and keep it fresh in our minds.
The question is, then, why do we ruminate? Why do we allow ourselves to get stuck on a problem and run it over and over in our heads? Does it serve a purpose?
Read MoreHow many of us struggle with doing the thing that we know will help and make us feel better? How many of us want to be able to do something, and do everything in our power to make it happen, but still bump up against some form of resistance anyway?
How often, when faced with the choice to meditate, exercise, make art, or reach out to a friend, do we instead turn towards our familiar coping tools, like Netflix, snacking, scrolling, substance use, or complaining?
Sometimes, resistance is here for a reason. It can be a sign post trying to indicate that something big in our life might be out of alignment. It’s important to be able to recognize this kind of resistance for what it is, and understand how to properly utilize the information it provides, rather than ignoring it and trying to bulldoze over it in the name of “getting things done”.
Read MoreI started down this path of personal growth because I was seeking relief. Relief from loneliness, from the pain of watching myself repeat patterns, and from the sense of knowing that things could be different - of knowing I was more than who I showed up as, but not knowing how to get there.
I had amazing and transformative experiences, but not lasting transformation. I experienced sweeping insights and short lived transformations from “medicine” work, personal growth workshops, and one on one therapy. But things would only stick for a month or less. It was less transformational, and more temporary.
It wasn’t until I discovered Neurosculpting® and the concept of neuroplasticity, that I developed the ability to intentionally self direct the change I desired and experience lasting transformation.
Read MoreOur brain receives these messages and automatically responds in a way that uses the least amount of energy—aka, what is familiar or habitual.
So in order to change the way we automatically respond to situations like negative thought spirals, or communication patterns in relationship, it’s important to know the basics of our nervous system so we know what’s happening and when, and how to set ourselves up for success in retraining and re-wiring old pathways of thought and behavior.
Read MoreWe all, to some degree, have an immediate sense of who we are – our values and beliefs, our mood and feelings, our insecurities, fears, and desires. All together, and with so much more, these form our ego – the storehouse of our identity.
The ego is not just a bunch of abstract ideas; instead, it’s actually grounded and cemented in our body-state and mindset. While the age-old wisdom of “knowing thyself” is incredibly powerful and important, what happens when we want to actually change an aspect of who we are?
Neurosculpting is the answer.
But first, we must start with the ego.
Read MoreMany people aren’t aware of this, but the brain is actually designed for automation, and most of our behavior is derived from the unconscious.
This is why one of the hallmarks of being human is experiencing patterns in our lives that seem to repeat themselves in new and unexpected ways, when we can’t quite put our finger on why.
We’ve all experienced this to one degree or another – in relationships, the workplace, or in attempting to start a new exercise or health routine – and more often than not, we don’t become aware of what’s happening until it’s too late.
Read MoreIf you read my blog, Why We Get Triggered in Relationships, you’re probably wondering what can be done about it. The good news is, I developed a system for stopping negative thought spirals, as well as in-the-moment relationship triggers.
I call it NIRS, but the phonetic pronunciation is “Nurse” – and when I think of what it means to “Nurse” myself, it means to be in gentle care as I shepherd myself through rehabilitation; in this case, it is to NIRS myself through a trigger. NIRS stands for Notice, Interrupt, Redirect, and State Change. I’ll go into each of these in more depth below.
Read MoreWe all get triggered in relationships at some point, and when that moment unexpectedly comes, it can be very uncomfortable.
Triggers are as individual as we are – they’re based on our personality, our upbringing, and any wounds or trauma we’ve experienced throughout our lives. Learning why they occur for us, the impact they have on our lives, and how to get unstuck from them is key in maturing as an adult.
Read More
